Recorded August 29, 2026 · Running time 2:51 · Play it loud
REC · 00:02:51MFA DYNASTY · TAPE 02SP · 720P
Three of you wrote me letters.
On a telephone. On a Saturday. Rob sent paragraphs. Steven sent one sentence and a dare. Jeremy sent a chain letter from nineteen ninety-six, which would be strange coming from anybody, and is stranger still coming from a man who is not in this league.
I did not write back. I do not write back. I went to the truck and I put a crew on it, and what you are watching up there is what came out.
You brought me paragraphs. I brought a camera crew, a lighting rig, and a man in the truck who's been on payroll since Tuesday.Vixen Vance · Deputy Commissioner
What gets settled on this tape
Rulings handed down · August 29, 1987 rules, 2026 calendar
Rob's Oklahoma story is confirmed. Every word of it, and then some. He aimed for the worst thing he could imagine about me and he came up short.
Steven's sentence is entered as consent. He asked, in writing, in front of nine men, to be pushed back on. Hard. That request is now on file and it is not withdrawable.
Jeremy is awarded an expansion franchise. Thirty-seven kickers and thirty defenses — every man none of you wanted. No age problem. No rookie problem. Nothing to put on a taxi squad. Grade: A plus. The best roster in this league now belongs to somebody who isn't in it.
The season is booked. All of it. Every one of you has a character. None of you picked it and none of you can hand it back.
The five who said nothing have had their silence entered as a guilty plea, and have been assigned the worst gimmicks in the book. Free of charge.
And the actual business
Eighty-five picks left. Keep the pace you've been keeping and this draft is finished Sunday evening, which gives you ten clear days to sit with a roster you own until 2036 and slowly decide you hate it. That part is the fun. Don't let it get squeezed into a Wednesday.
Stack your queue before bed. Ten deep, kicker and defense pinned at the bottom. Round nineteen is where a dry queue starts costing you real money — Sleeper's autopick doesn't know this is a dynasty league, and it will happily hand you a thirty-one-year-old over a twenty-two-year-old you'd have owned until 2031.